Blog by Jedde

When was the last time  you had a nice meal, ate without guilt  and enjoyed it for real? How about the last time  you woke up in the morning, felt glad and excited as if  it was a fresh beginning? When was the last time  you did something for yourself, without thinking it's a crime, no hesitations for oneself? How about the last time  you felt genuinely proud of something  that you have achieved with all your heart, like it was spring? Or forgave yourself  for making a mistake, being flawed and imperfect or for feeling inadequate? For feeling weak, especially at night when the world is heavily quiet? or when your mind traces back right at the core of your fears in delight? When was the last time you told yourself it's alright, to cry and let go for a while, howling like a wolf in the moonlight? How tired you must have been feeling, How lost you must have become....

If you were to recall what you told your teacher when she asked: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" , would you say you've become what you said you would be? Does it make you happy? When I was little, I often wondered what it would be like to become an adult. You could do whatever you want and be who you want to be. You could also travel to places as you wish. It was an exciting thought to think about. As kids, my friends and I would play pretend, where we were the doctors and our stuffed animals were our patients. My aunt would scold us many times because we used to pick the leaves from the small garden to play chef. We would collect old newspapers, cut them, and then make it into our pretend money. Those were the days when I thought to myself, "I can't wait to become an adult, then I can have anything that I want." In fourth-grade, the teacher would ask us to think about what we wanted to be when we grow up. I remembered drawing a fig...