Blog by Jedde

  It's quite ironic how we crave other people's validation and yet we couldn't even give some for ourselves.  Imagine working so hard to make ends meet, being employed in a job that you only tolerate just so you can provide for your family, setting aside your own needs so that you can deliver what's expected of you - but then, at the end of a long, tiring day, what you've been dying to hear is a word of appreciation from your family and friends. It's that simple, yes? You don't require much to keep going. All you need is to hear that what you're sacrificing, what you're working hard for, is being appreciated by the people you're gifting it to.  But here lies the gap. A missing piece.  You seek the validation of others, forgetting that you must offer it to yourself first. You long to be seen, to be embraced, to be told that we're doing so well, and yet you scarcely even notice your own hard work. You hardly embrace yourself after a difficult d...

There is something mesmerizing about being in a place where you feel you belong. A place where you can tell yourself that you are in a safe bubble, far away from your troubles. A place where you can drop the world's expectations on you, down on the floor- even for just the time being - and feel great about it.  I found that place in The Narrative Coffee Stand. I remember it was a cloudy October afternoon. The breeze was cooling and I walked my way from the train station towards Bras Basah Complex where the cafe was located. Eager to meet a friend, I walked as fast as I can.  I had no expectations about how the place looked like. What mattered most to me at that moment was reaching safely and catching up with our previous intern who I've grown close to. So, when I arrived, I felt satisfied with what I saw - it was a cozy little coffee shop and I couldn't wait to get inside. Tucked between the National Library of Singapore and the buzzing Bugis Area, this dainty cafe brought ...

The sun rises and it is sure of itself. Its rays do not need to be told where it should be. In that moment of serenity, the certainty is strong. No doubt springs from the horizon, only beauty. On the ground, a flower blooms. A tulip, a dandelion, a chrysanthemum. The flower does not compete with the other. Fearlessly she opens, happily she blooms. When she withers, she doesn't say "What if." When she dies, she gives a smile so sure. Her fallen petals, soft on the ground. A kiss of life and a memory of beauty, now buried on the dirt, satisfied of the life she's lived. The human watches all these - the sun with its rays, the flower with her petals, the petals falling on the ground. The human wonders - how, why, where, when, what. Asking, demanding, exploring, slowing down, speeding up. Fearing, doubting, sulking, tensing. The human is not sure of herself. She feels she needs to be told where she should be. Stuck on a place, with so much uncertainty.  She asks if she may...

There are sides of us that we do not show in public. It's either we do it on purpose for a deep reason, or, maybe we're just not aware they exist. You know, like a blind spot. While there's a huge chance for our blind spots to turn out wonderfully inspiring, we also know deep down that sometimes, they are quite the contrary.  One big realization that dawned on me these past few months is that I freak out when I couldn't plan my life out. This is my blind spot that I don't particularly present generously to the public eye, plainly because I didn't realize it then, and I've still yet to understand my experience in a private space. I believe you understand, right? You see, generally, I'm a spontaneous person. I've come to terms with being agreeable to changes. In fact, I've even created a photo album on my Facebook called 'Spontaneity', where I save all photographs of my spontaneous adventures with family and friends.  So, what made these pa...

  27 August 2020, Thursday - I had a great time having a lovely conversation this afternoon with one of my colleagues from my Graduate studies in Applied Positive Psychology. Has, founder of Positive Focus Pte Ltd and a seasoned facilitator and trainer in Singapore shared about her life story and we enjoyed diving into deep conversation topics like resilience, grit, and passion. Surrounded by lush greenery and accompanied by a soothing hot cappuccino at Canopy Garden Dining, I was all ears into Has' story as she animatedly talked about her past experiences, how it shaped her, and what lessons it taught her. There was one topic however, that made my eyes sparkle with so much interest and resonance among all others - and it was about energy.  Many people love Has' energy. Wherever she goes, she brings with her a ray of sunshine that can make one's day brighter. Being around her hypes me up and inspires me to be my best too! And when she said that it takes a great deal of fact...

Yes. Even when it scares you. Even when you're uncertain. Take that first step even when you can't see the whole path yet. You've been through so much struggles in the past and you've made wonderful progress as a human being. You are courageous and brave so keep on going! Don't settle yet when you know deep down that the world is calling you out for a purpose. When you feel deep inside you a strong urge to change career path, to build your business, to express your feelings to someone, or even to say what's in your mind and in your heart.  Gather your courage, ignite that inner fire and unleash your flames to empower you as you take that first step. It will be scary, but it's definitely worth it. Take that first step no matter how scary it is because all the most beautiful journeys in our lives happened when we didn't have a whole masterplan. We just did what we could in that moment and it led us to twists and turns in our lives, and happened to be one o...

Accepting criticism is a hard pill to swallow. Especially when it is given without compassion. When we give our best efforts on something that we're passionate about, only to be told that it isn't good enough, we usually accept it and think it is sensible. Especially when it is coming from someone who we know has the best intentions for us. But what if it came from someone who doesn't care about us? What if that criticism was given without compassion? How would that feel? Usually, it feels really awful, don't you think so? Like someone stabbed us right in the heart. After all, we spent hours working hard on it. We went through a lot of troubles. We had to hear all the loud voices in our head magnifying our insecurities and press on really hard to overcome them. They don't know anything about how greatly we worked hard for it and yet they still throw these insensitive remarks at us.  It is unavoidable to experience this in our lives. People will always have something...

Many times, I have no idea what I'm doing. Sometimes, I find myself writing so confidently while there are also those moments when I just try to wing it. For me, the most important thing here is, I write. Like doing the verb and actually writing .  I knew I became committed to writing the moment I wrote consistently, not when I "said" I will. Then, I found out some surprising results. There are now 33+ posts on my blog, 14,000 inspired readers all over the world, and I've received invitations to be featured on podcasts and shows in Singapore. It's definitely humbling and awesome!  Listen to The Positive Arena Podcast here. There are plenty of us out there who wants to start something - a podcast, a vlog channel, writing a blog, building their own business and so on and that's absolutely great! However, there are only a few who actually take the first step of doing it and making it happen.  My question is, "What's stopping you?". To which I kn...