Blog by Jedde

  "Your light is so bright it blinds people. It blinds me sometimes, but I love you for it. I'm so damn proud of you I could burst. That light will attract people to you, and it will burn the bad ones and hurt their eyes, and they're going to try and hurt you for it. You need to watch out for them, learn to recognize them, and stay away from them."* We have many fears. Heights, ghosts, failing - these are some of the things that we're afraid of. But there's one other thing that makes us want to hide and cower, something that makes us want to lock ourselves in the darkness, and something that makes us want to admit defeat. This one other thing that we're afraid of - is our own light.  There are moments when we feel like we're shining so bright. We can feel it physically. Usually, it is the adrenaline that covers us from head to toe. It makes us want to take a big leap of faith. It makes us want to try new things without any hint of hesitation, and it ma

I wore a special necklace today.  What makes this necklace special to me is that one of my most beloved people in Singapore, Jasline, gave this as a memento of our friendship. I vividly remember the day when she handed me this thoughtful present. It was a drizzly Saturday night and we were enjoying our conversation from a trip to Sentosa in Singapore.  When the fun had settled, she came up to me with a box and a letter. Curious, I asked her what it was. She told me to open the box first and what I saw inside brought a smile to my face. It was a beautiful, minimalist necklace with the letter "J" inscribed on a tiny circular silver indicating my name "Jedde"   and a phrase engraved on a minute silver column that says:  "This too will pass." This phrase means so much to both of us because we have gone through countless turbulent moments in our lives. It is a reminder that nothing is permanent in this world, including our emotions, feelings, our difficult situ

There's a lot I've to unpack in this story. It took me some time to decide how and what to say. I have decided to let courage prevail and so here I am, writing this piece of my life to say that finally, I am home.  Ah, this isn't one of the typical stories that'll make you feel good. This is one of those vulnerable moments of mine, of which I have decided after careful thought, to share with you. I hope you don't mind receiving a piece of my story? Vulnerable moments have stories of defeat in them and I worry that perhaps, today's story may not be your cup of tea. But, if you give this a chance, this might ignite a spark in you, and better yet, open your heart to acknowledge another angle of the story from a millennial overseas Filipino worker. Should you feel that this isn't your cup of tea, I shall respect your decision. However, should you decide to sit with me by the fireplace and hear my story, please stay and I shall welcome you wholeheartedly. Let'

Image not mine. Source: Salvador Dali Melting Clock Digital Painting When you were born, people knew who they want you to become. Your life was set in stone. The cheers you hear were cries of the people who missed their chance in life. And you are their key to redemption. You are a fresh start for them. You are a ticket to secure their happiness.  The clock starts ticking and you begin growing up. Each time you celebrate your birthday, it is a yardstick - have you accomplished what you ought to accomplish? No? Oh, then that's bad. Suddenly, the cheers you hear turned to snickers. How come you are not as successful as that person? Why can't you do things right? You are starting to mold into a disappointment and woe to that.  What did you do wrong? All you did was live the way you want to live your life. Slowly, the sparkle in your eyes starts to dim. Waking up each day, putting on your uniform, studying, eating, laughing, going back home, sleeping - and this cycle repeats. You f

Photo taken in Vintage Empire, Singapore. Featuring an Olivetti-Lettera 82 Typewriter Quite recently, I've become fascinated with typewriters. I spent many months researching, studying the history of typewriters, and finally, I've decided to find my own machine. Many people have asked me why I'm looking for a typewriter and my answer takes me back to when I was 8 years old.  I'll take you back in time with me through this blog and shortly, you will know the reason why my latest obsession today is a typewriter. I remember feeling excited every time my class ends when I was in Primary 2 (Grade 2). I was around 8 years old at that time. I would prepare all my things in advance so when my father arrived to fetch me from school, I would be ready to leave. Time was precious and I didn't want to waste it. My father worked near the school so before heading straight home, we would visit his office first so he can 'punch-out' and have his attendance checked. While he&

There is something mesmerizing about being in a place where you feel you belong. A place where you can tell yourself that you are in a safe bubble, far away from your troubles. A place where you can drop the world's expectations on you, down on the floor- even for just the time being - and feel great about it.  I found that place in The Narrative Coffee Stand. I remember it was a cloudy October afternoon. The breeze was cooling and I walked my way from the train station towards Bras Basah Complex where the cafe was located. Eager to meet a friend, I walked as fast as I can.  I had no expectations about how the place looked like. What mattered most to me at that moment was reaching safely and catching up with our previous intern who I've grown close to. So, when I arrived, I felt satisfied with what I saw - it was a cozy little coffee shop and I couldn't wait to get inside. Tucked between the National Library of Singapore and the buzzing Bugis Area, this dainty cafe brought

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."   - Robert Frost   Photo was taken in January 2018. More often than not, we find ourselves in between two roads. The road we choose often depends on how ready we are to face the unknown, how brave we are to unleash our courage in taking that step, and how prepared we are to fail. Either way, making this choice is never easy.  I faced this moment many times in my life and particularly, in the year 2017 when I decided to pack my bags and move to Singapore. I barely had any savings after working for my first job in Cebu. My family isn't wealthy. We can afford to eat three times a day but we've always been mindful of where we spend our money to ensure we can sustain our basic needs, and infrequently, our wants - usually in a form of our family day eating halo-halo in a mall. That's why taking this big leap was a question for many people. How am I going to su

The sun rises and it is sure of itself. Its rays do not need to be told where it should be. In that moment of serenity, the certainty is strong. No doubt springs from the horizon, only beauty. On the ground, a flower blooms. A tulip, a dandelion, a chrysanthemum. The flower does not compete with the other. Fearlessly she opens, happily she blooms. When she withers, she doesn't say "What if." When she dies, she gives a smile so sure. Her fallen petals, soft on the ground. A kiss of life and a memory of beauty, now buried on the dirt, satisfied of the life she's lived. The human watches all these - the sun with its rays, the flower with her petals, the petals falling on the ground. The human wonders - how, why, where, when, what. Asking, demanding, exploring, slowing down, speeding up. Fearing, doubting, sulking, tensing. The human is not sure of herself. She feels she needs to be told where she should be. Stuck on a place, with so much uncertainty.  She asks if she may