A Young Cebuana Graduates with A High Distinction Award in Singapore - And Her Stories in Between
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
- Robert Frost
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| Photo was taken in January 2018. |
More often than not, we find ourselves in between two roads. The road we choose often depends on how ready we are to face the unknown, how brave we are to unleash our courage in taking that step, and how prepared we are to fail. Either way, making this choice is never easy.
I faced this moment many times in my life and particularly, in the year 2017 when I decided to pack my bags and move to Singapore. I barely had any savings after working for my first job in Cebu. My family isn't wealthy. We can afford to eat three times a day but we've always been mindful of where we spend our money to ensure we can sustain our basic needs, and infrequently, our wants - usually in a form of our family day eating halo-halo in a mall.
That's why taking this big leap was a question for many people. How am I going to survive? Fortunately, I wasn't alone on this journey. My partner, Alex was with me and we started at level 0 and had to work our way to afford ourselves a nice meal in a restaurant. We stayed in her aunt's house in Singapore but later had to find our own separate places that are convenient for each of our workplaces.
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| Alex just graduated from the University when we both moved to Singapore. He also had his own fair share of uncertainties and struggles. |
By this time, I've saved a tad amount of money. Just barely enough to fly me back home. At night, I would spend so much time wondering how I'm going to make ends meet. Living in Singapore isn't easy. The cost of living is high. Each month, my salary goes to sending money back home, paying my bills, and securing my food for a month. There's almost none left for my own leisure. But that's both my own choice and a necessity that I had to be accountable for.
The Road Less Traveled
Even though it was difficult, my conviction was strong that I must save a certain amount because I want to send myself to school. The thought of it is amusing, yes. Who would dare study in Singapore? Let alone a young, 22-year old, Filipino like myself with no safety net protecting me financially in case I lose my job?
But as I said, my conviction was strong. I felt that it's the only way to make me feel alive amidst all the sometimes soulless, autopilot actions I had to overcome to fulfill my tasks in my work.
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| Photo was taken in Singapore 2017. |
In 2018, I came across a school called The School of Positive Psychology in Orchard while I was waiting for my guest, Miss Jenny Lea Tan-Menchavez who visited me in Singapore. Something about the school struck a chord in my heart but I didn't pay attention to it at that time. Later that year, and to my surprise, I saw an event on Facebook for an open house event at the same school. I strongly felt to give it a try. That was when I met Mervin.
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| The exact moment when I inquired about the course. |
Mervin was patient and kind to walk me through the details of the program. Even while I was inquiring, I felt my heart was certain that I was in the right place at the right time. That evening, I consulted with my partner Alex about my desire to attend school. Financially, I hesitated because the course fee was expensive! It would drain out my savings to the maximum and I will have to start from the bottom again.
Taking the Big Leap
Alex told me that he was willing to support me and he did, and I felt really grateful. Jasline Lin, one of my closest second mom in Singapore also contributed financially to this new feat. And this signaled me to take that big leap and so I enrolled myself in the program.
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| Photo was taken in 2017 during the Deepavali Celebration in the office with Jasline. |
During the experience, I came across and interacted with many inspiring people. Dr. Ilona Boniwell, for example, a renowned professional in Positive Psychology who founded and headed the first Master's Degree in Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) in Europe was my professor in Resilience.
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| My photo with Dr. Ilona Boniwell after our Resilience Training in The School of Positive Psychology - Singapore. Photo was taken in January 2019. |
I've also been taught by Jana Dawson (MAPP), and she has become one of my mentors and believing mirrors and I really treasure her existence in my life. She taught Introduction to Positive Psychology and this has paved the way for me to articulate my passion through the lens of PP.
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| Our Introduction to Positive Psychology Class Photo taken in 2019. |
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| Jana doing a 'Strengths-Spotting' for me live during Joy Leng's show called Superpact.Asia. |
Two more instructors of mine during my course were Laurence Ho - a highly respectable practitioner and professional in the field of Psychotherapy, Counselling, and Coaching, and Deborah Thurley - our Mindfulness instructor who helped me realize the high importance and the science behind mindfulness.
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| Our Mindfulness class with Deborah Thurley. Photo was taken in June 2019. Read more about my Mindfuless class experience here. |
Further, into my learning journey, I've undergone many challenges. Balancing time at work, managing the demands of my job, and studying after work pushed me to level up. Ensuring that I maximize what I learn by doing plenty of research, asking questions in class, interacting with a diverse group of students, and most especially, keeping an open mind and heart to absorb the lessons with mindful curiosity.
Time passed and I finally graduated from the course. I am now a certified Resilience in the Workplace Trainer. And I have successfully completed my degree in Applied Positive Psychology with high distinction in Singapore.
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| My official graduation photo. Taken in October 2019. |
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| My Diploma Cover. |
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| Read more about my thoughts on graduating here. |
But the journey doesn't end there.
A Roadblock
I've come to face many doubtful looks and unpleasant inquisitive questions:
'Where did you get the money?'
'What about your family?'
'Why did you spend it all on just yourself?'
'Why are you so proud of this achievement when anyone can just do the same thing you did?'
'You're not even rich but you still sent yourself to school, you should have prioritized more important things!'
'I bet you're earning millions of pesos!'
These remarks caused me the pain of course, how was I supposed to answer them? My worry wasn't focused on the quality of my response, but to what extent will these people understand my decision? And no, I'm not earning millions. Not all kababayans you see abroad are living a comfortable life. It would be much appreciated if we do not assume and form a half-baked belief about OFWs.
As an Overseas Filipino Worker, you are seen as a hero in the eyes of the world because you're supposed to send money back home and that will positively impact the country's economy. But to spend it on my own education, especially when I'm earning minimum wage, and even when I'm not wealthy both in reality and in the eyes of many people, it's a questionable move for people who do not know and understand my story.
I have chosen to tread this long, difficult path. The road less traveled. Because as a young Cebuana, Filipina, and Mandauehanon, I was driven by an insurmountable passion to learn so I can help empower more people back in my own country. I've never lusted in staying too long in a beautiful country like Singapore because as imperfect as the Philippines is, it is still my native land and I am decided to serve my nation.
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| Poster from the event of Kool Adventure Camp called 'Youth in Action: Leading in the New Normal' last August 2020. |
This is why I pursued higher education in Singapore, even when it took time, money, and effort. The journey wasn't easy. But I made it through. This was a feat that I'm truly proud of but my work isn't done. Before I end this writing, I would like to emphasize that I am not who I am now if not for the relationships I've built over the years of being in Singapore that has helped mold me into a more courageous person.
Each and every experience I went through, both pleasant and nasty, I treasure them because they have contributed to my growth. I tell you, whoever you are who's reading this, that the idea of perfection does not exist. I invite you to be attracted to the idea of courage and growth instead, of quality relationships not in quantity. In leaning into your discomfort and in choosing the road less traveled.
Because at the end of the day, what's important is for you to be able to say to yourself: "I've lived a life that's made me happy and contented.", and this my dear reader, is what makes life worth living.
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| Group photo with Jana Dawson, Angela Ng, and Winifred Ling - women who I admire and who inspire me in many ways. |
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| With Angela Ng, Trainer and Lecturer in Behavioural Approach to Design Thinking and Leadership, TEDx Speaker in Singapore |
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| With Has A.R., Founder of Positive Focus Pte Ltd. in Singapore. |
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| Book Club Photo taken in 2019. |
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| Book club photo, taken before the start of the circuit breaker in Singapore. |
The Now
What's next for you Jedde? Is what I ask myself. Well, there is no clear answer except to come back to Cebu, of course! Where else would I be? I've also started building Heart2Speak to apply what I've learned in Positive Psychology and bring it back to the Philippines. I use the tools from PP to empower people to grow into a more authentic and confident speaker.
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| You can find more details about Heart2Speak here. |
It is a very special project all because this is borne from my struggles of overcoming my insecurities of being inadequate in many areas whilst being a Corporate Trainer in Singapore - my age (I was too young to be doing what I do), experience (I was lacking in experience relative to other expert trainers), stories (I've yet to go through a tremendous amount of moments that will later turn into stories), knowledge, and support group.
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| Batch 1 of Heart2Speak Full Experience. In this photo: Pao, Jedde, Mirja, Jaisel, Yuki, and Mark. |
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| Batch 2 of Heart2Speak Full Experience. In this photo: Dane, Jedde, Vanessa, Rea, Ellyn, and Jasline. |
And because of that, I've created an experience for people to become aware of their strengths, identify their roadblocks, and overcome their roadblocks to make them grow into more authentic and confident communicators. Currently, as of this writing, Heart2Speak has empowered ten people. My goal is to inspire a thousand more to own their stories wholeheartedly - imperfections and flaws included.
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| Participants for the Heart2Speak Special Virtual Event called 'How to Speak with More Courage' |
The next adventure will be another road less traveled for me. It's going to be new experiences, new learnings, and new memories. I'm ready for it and taking this new route will for sure make a big difference in my life. Our goal after all isn't to achieve perfection, but rather the courage to embrace the uncertainties in our lives.
If you find yourself at a crossroad now, I hope you find the courage to choose the road less traveled, take that big leap, and soar your wings. Remember, people will always have something to say, but at the end of the day, the final decision is up to you. I hope you choose the decision that will make your heart happy.
Thank you for reading!
Love,
Mary Jedde
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