Blog by Jedde

Expectations are burdens that are heavy to bear. Yet, we easily impose expectations on ourselves and other people carefully pile up their expectations on us as well. It's either one of these two and if you're lucky, you get both. Failing to meet these expectations can either cause us to get compared with other people or we end up beating ourselves hard for it. It's tiring isn't it? You're tired too, aren't you?  No matter how many inspirational quotes we read, how we strive to improve ourselves, or try our best to meet others halfway, there will always be moments when we question our self-worth just because we didn't become someone who we expected ourselves to be.  How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn't become?  -- There was one evening when I found it difficult to sleep. I asked myself this question and what happened became a turning point in my life. I thought of a chair. It was a nicely polished chair with a red cushion. It looked co...

There are those whose ferocity I admire. They speak their minds without hesitation. Engage in difficult conversations with ease. Talk with confidence about their causes. I've constantly wondered about the source of such fire within them - where it came from, how it grew.  Then, I look at myself - hesitant in admitting a vulnerable fact about my own beliefs. But now here I am making a choice. To open up. To show myself. To talk about it. For what purpose? Perhaps, relief. Perhaps, understanding. Perhaps, to set myself free from the pain of bearing an immense pressure coming from everywhere around me in all directions.  Am I the only one who feels this way? I admit that the admiration I have for the ferocious ones actually hides a creeping insecurity inside me, covered with a cloak of invisibility. It is present. But it's not visible. I deeply castigate myself as though I am a prisoner inside a dungeon filled with thick cobwebs and suffocating smoke.  Why couldn't I b...

Nurturing a relationship takes a long conscious effort. In fact, it goes beyond the butterflies in the stomach and flutters of the heart. It extends beyond words of love and affirmation and it transcends beyond momentary sparks, passionate kisses borne from romance, and overdramatic promises. Truth to be told, maintaining a relationship means working hard to always choose the other person every day - and this is extremely difficult. How could we possibly choose someone who is flawed? The thing is that there are bits and pieces of us that are broken. There is no way we can find a superglue that could magically put these broken pieces back together as if no storm had wreaked havoc at all! We've just got to meet that person who sees our broken parts and loves us, not despite it , but because  of it. This is just one side of the whole picture. The other half tells us to reciprocate - to also see that person's flaws and love him all the same. On one hand, seeing and whole...