Be Like the Sea: How to Find Our Meaning in A Noisy World
Why couldn't we be more accepting of who we are, like the sea? Why then are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we find it as an almost impossible mission to make sense of the meaning of our lives, or find our own happiness, or be comfortable in our own voice? Why do we despise our existence so deeply sometimes just because we do not understand its mysteries?
Our lives and the sea have similar characteristics. Both are unfathomable, deep, mysterious, and rich in motion and life. To illustrate, inside of us are trillions of live cells thriving; similarly, deep within the sea are trillions of live creatures - with each one being completely unique from one another. We make homes of people, just as we are home to them. We love them, nurture them, and care for them - as they do too, for us. Likewise, the sea is home to many living beings - just as the sea finds its home in them.
We feel emotions - sadness, anger, happiness, hopefulness and the sea too, feels deeply and shows it. Whether it is a feeling of a raging anger, or a peaceful sense of tranquility and calmness, or a display of happiness characterised by the cheerful splashing of the waves to the shore as they caress it with their sheer, delicate sheets of water.
Both our lives and the sea are tightly interwoven. Both contain stardusts from the same majestic cosmos.
The biggest difference, however, is that the sea continues to live without having to worry about what other people think of it. Is it too wide? Is it too salty? Is it too dark or maybe too blue? Does it have more or lesser fishes than other seas? Is it better or worse than other seas? The sea doesn't think about all these things.
It doesn't ruminate about why it is stuck doing the same thing over and over. It doesn't worry about not being happy nor does it concern itself that being a sea is not its passion. Unfortunately for us, these are only some of the biggest worries we have in our lives that cage us in an ironclad prison.
Many of us are currently lost because we put a heavy expectation on our shoulders - by now, at this age, we should have already accomplished things - but we haven't yet. And if we ever had, we don't feel as contented as we thought we would be. This makes us feel inadequate, or that we are less of a person. We also have this achingly tempting feeling of wanting to check on what other people are up to, and we fall into the danger of comparison. We further strengthen the iron that makes up the prison we are in through comparing ourselves with others.
Why do we compare ourselves when we know that we are unique from each other - even our thumbprints are not the same, nor are the number of hairs on our head! By comparing, we will lose sight of what's truly important to us: our meaning.
Our life's meaning does not have to be this amazing, heroic moment that we imagine. Meaning can simply be like being a genuine friend or maybe being a daughter or a son. We can find meaning in making a cup of coffee for your grandmother or grandfather. We can find it by working hard at work to make your spouse happy by being able to buy him or her milk tea, or flowers, or books, or by providing food on the table. Meaning is found at the very moment we make a choice.
"We can discover the meaning of life in three different ways:
1) By creating a work or doing a deed;
2) By experiencing something or encountering someone or by experiencing another human being in his very uniqueness by loving him and;
3) By the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering."¹
Our meaning is unique to us - just as each situation that surround us is unique from each other. One of the ways to identify what our meaning is requires us to understand what makes us feel fulfilled. This involves action from us. We need to move one step at a time. We need to try and experiment, and let go of being afraid of rejections. We have to strive not to freeze. We have to persevere, no matter what progress we make. Little progress is better than no progress at all.
"Don't aim at success - the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue."²
The key to open that ironclad prison we have created for ourselves is already in our possession. The only way to release ourselves from that space is to turn the key from the keyhole. Even this, takes action. Let us be grateful for the ordinary moments in our lives; as well as be comfortable with the idea - that we can find meaning even from the mundane day to day moments of our existence.
We should not fret and stress out that our "big" break has not arrived yet. Like the sea to its creatures, and plants, and other beings, let us be conscious instead, of the responsibility we have towards another human being, or an unfinished work, then, we will never be able to throw away our lives³.
Each day of the human life is never the same in each passing moment. Like the sea, it is constantly changing, as it is mysterious and deep. So in spite of this, let us not worry about what big thing we are meant to do, or why changes are happening to us, or what epic meaning we must find out for in our lives. Rather, let us simply continue and choose to be human; blessing, thriving, and living.
What one simple meaning can you think of in your life right now that makes you feel fulfilled?
Love,
Mary Jedde
Sources:
1. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl, page 133
2. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl, page 17
3. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl, page 101
4. Photos from pexels.com
Further Readings:
1. Being comfortable to fail: https://blogbyjedde.blogspot.com/2020/01/are-you-ready-to-fail.html
2. Going out of your comfort zone: https://blogbyjedde.blogspot.com/2020/01/enjoy-journey-of-tossing-out-your-life.html
3. An Open Letter to Millennials: https://blogbyjedde.blogspot.com/2016/04/an-open-letter-to-millennials.html
About the Author: https://blogbyjedde.blogspot.com/2019/09/about-her.html
You have no idea how much I needed this 😭😭😭 Thank you Jedde. ❤️ Thank you for the reminder of letting me open up my mind to other perspective of life's purpose.
ReplyDeleteIt was a pleasure writing this piece. It's an even greater pleasure that someone like you find it relevant! I'm glad to have shared this with you Lui! Thank you for reading and for always supporting this space. You are mostly welcome here at Blog by Jedde. :-)
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