Ang Sobra Magtuon, Mabogo na Hinuon - And Other Witty Lines from My Lola

She giggled when she said, "Ang sobra magtuon, mabogo na hinuon." which loosely translates to: "If one studies too much, one might go stupid". 

I rolled my eyes and whined. She could've said something else to motivate me. 

It was the year 2013 and I was busy preparing for my midterm exam. I was vying for the Dean's list, so I had to work double the effort to ace my exams, especially MATH. We all know that when it's exams week, it's going to get crazy busy right? We often feel all sorts of emotions - sometimes motivation, sometimes disregard, sometimes laziness, and sometimes a mixture of everything. I tell you, exams week is madness.

My books were all laid on the table, my notebooks were opened at a page where there were plenty of markings indicating that I must remember that lesson because it might come out on the test. I was feeling stressed out, frustrated at myself, and annoyed at what my grandmother has just told me.

She should have known that exam days are serious and I'm not here to just treat it like a joke. She watched me as I scurried through my books, and smiled at me lovingly before going back to the living room to watch her favorite evening drama on the television.

"Ang sobra magtuon, mabogo na hinuon." I repeated it to myself, asking what the heck it means. How can one become stupid when one studies hard? That doesn't make any sense. 

I didn't understand what my grandmother meant by that until 12 August 2013 - the day she passed away.

My late grandmother, her name is Mama Linda, was a creative woman. She can cook dishes that are out of this world - like using radish and make it seem like it's meat. She can knit clothes and wallets without even glancing at her hands. In fact, she even does it nonchalantly. 

The undefeated champion taking a photo of my grandmother and my sister playing Dammath. LOL!

She plays Dammath with me and my sister, even when I'm a well-known Dammath champion in our own household (lol). She can make paper flowers perfectly and she is resourceful in many ways. 

My sister and I used to visit her in the Province of Leyte when we were younger. We would take turns each year. I remember loving the feeling of staying with my grandmother because she would take good care of us and we can play outside the house as much as we'd like. 

This photo was taken in Leyte. My grandmother was feeding me dinner. What better way to enjoy your food, than to do it with style right? I mean, come on! Look at those sunglasses. #trendsetter

She would teach us how to separate the "tipasi" or brown rice grains from the good ones while we chat with our cousins and neighbours. She would allow us to play with her sewing machine and pretend like it's a car. She would take us to Maasin and buy us paper and pencils and crayons! I loved visiting her in the Province. 

During my vacation in Leyte

Sometimes, she and my grandfather would visit us in the city too. They would bring loads of lanzones, or rambutan, and we would cry when they would leave.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, she stayed in our home and we spent quite a lot of time together.

One day, I asked her, "Ma, patudlo ko og gansilyo nimo bi." (Ma, can you teach me how to knit?)

She stopped on her tracks, glanced at me with her spectacles just slightly above her nose, and said: "No. You're too slow to learn and you're very impatient."

I was taken aback. But she was right. I had no patience at anything that requires me to sit down for a long time and knit a ball of yarn. So I said, "Works for me!" So I sat there with her, as we watched the television. She has just finished her first operation and she's back on track. God, this woman is amazing. 

Life continued and so did her medication. 

April 2013, by the beach in Cebu

I got so absorbed with my own business, my own life that I had forgotten I had a sick grandmother living under our roof, acting like she's in top shape. It was quite difficult to determine by sight whether she was actually ill or not, because she looked wonderfully well. 

Unfortunately, life has a way of slapping us in the face, waking us up to the reality. I received a call from my father one day. He asked me to come to the hospital right away. I was at school that time and I immediately booked a cab even when I didn't have enough cash with me. When I reached the hospital, my father was there along with some of my relatives and they broke the news that my grandmother has passed away. I broke down in tears and my heart broke into pieces.

At her wake, I recalled what she told me: "Ang sobra magtuon, mabogo na hinuon."

And it was at that moment when I finally understood what she meant by that. 

"We miss out on things that are truly important to us because we chase other things we feel are more important. Yes, it is good to keep busy, especially when you are chasing your dreams, but you must never forget to care and spend time with your loved ones. Life is short. You wouldn't know when it'll be the last time you will get to spend time with them. So spend time with them and love them, even when sometimes they are difficult to love. Especially when they are difficult to love.

 

 

Photo taken during our grandmother's burial in Leyte. In this photo: Danna, AJ, Claudine, and myself.

Now, you might think you're in a tight spot at the moment. You may feel your dreams are on hold, but somewhere around you, there is a family member that looks at you and thinks: "I hope she spends more time with us." There is someone in your life that quietly begs for you to notice them. There is a person in your circle that loves you unconditionally. So try to look around once in a while, because the inspiration you need is sometimes not found in your dreams, but in the people around you who loves you with all their heart."

It's either that - or she really meant to say we become more stupid when we study too much. Lol.

I miss my grandmother. 

We traveled to Leyte again for a family reunion in December 2018. While having breakfast with everyone, we were reminiscing some old photos. Then, my grandfather went to take this one special photo and wiped it gently with a clean cloth before showing it to me. It was a photo of me and my grandmother. I remember that photograph. It was a gift I gave her right after her operation.

"Your grandmother told me specifically that I must take care of this photograph properly because it was a gift from you."

The photo I gave her before she passed away.

And I smiled upon hearing that.

So go, take care of your loved ones, and remember:

"Ang Sobra Magtuon, Mabogo na Hinuon".

Love,

Mary Jedde