Human Being or Human Going: Which One Are You?

Source: Adventure Associates

We are now experiencing a new norm. Most of us are spending the majority of our time at home either working or studying. Both situations are products of the strongly implemented safety measures against the COVID-19 crisis, whether it's the enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) in the Philippines or the circuit breaker in Singapore. While it's important to use the time that we now have to reassess our priorities, we also have to keep in mind that this is not a productivity contest.

Using this quiet time only as an opportunity to show other people how productive we are, does not only cause us to feel pressured but it also negatively affects our mental well-being in the long run. When we observe that other people around show their upbeat state of being productive - such as gaining those perfect abs or mastering a difficult skill - we then begin to think that we must as well maximize the time that we have now to show that we too are capable of such feat. We tend to beat ourselves up as we try to reach that same level of commitment that others are exuding. As a result, we end up feeling more upset, questioning our self-esteem further and eventually feeling defeated, when we find out that being in that state of productivity contest with others, albeit one-sided, is not as successful as we think it would be. 

Coping up with the on-going and intense changes affecting almost every aspect of our lives is already challenging enough, so much more when we continue adding more unrealistic responsibilities and expectations on our plates. Why do we even do this to ourselves? Have we forgotten how much we longed for some quiet time to rest when we were bombarded with so many tasks at work or in our lives before this crisis? There are just some of us (myself included) who are unable to stay still. We feel restless when we are not showing signs of being productive. We somehow feel this massive urge to do something, go somewhere, and get busy. Why?

Perhaps, we are waiting for something. A sort of permission. A "go-signal". 

We have earnestly yearned to take a break. Here we are now. We have that space to do so at the present moment. This is the message you have been waiting for. You are allowed to take a break. To be still. To have the full permission not to have so many things on your plate. As the author and monk named Ajahn Brahm shared in his book "The Two Bad Bricks" said, "It is very rare to find a human being today. They are always going somewhere, always doing something, that they are hardly ever here." He refers to this state as human going. 

By staying safe at home, you are already doing something important for the community. By breathing and keeping calm, you are already doing enough. By trying something new in order to feel relaxed and delighted, you are already making use of your time well. In these times, it's okay to take it easy because we are not obliged to be insanely productive. Instead, let's embrace the art of being. Release that tension on your shoulders. You're still carrying the heavy expectations you cast on yourself. This is your permission to put it down and rest, as you savor being in the here and now. 

More importantly, by the end of this experience, may we once again share moments of laughter with our family and friends, may we hug each other tightly and appreciate each other more. May we have grown our empathy, and gain a deeper understanding about the things happening around us. Not everyone will have the same take-away from this globally traumatic experience and that's okay, so let us be kind to one another and be kind to ourselves.

Right now, are you a human being or a human going?

After this, who would you strive to be? 

Thank you for reading! 

Love,

Mary Jedde